What Therapeutic Coaching actually feels like

Right. So let’s give you a bit of an idea of what happens during therapeutic coaching—and maybe a bit of an idea of what it actually feels like.

So therapeutic coaching always begins with grounding.

This is a breath, an anchor, and it’s something that is aiming to bring you into the session where we are—into the present moment. And the reason for this is that because before the session, chances are you’ve been doing. Okay? You’ve been ticking off your to-do list, you’ve been planning and worrying and thinking about the past and obsessing over the future. You’ve been doing all these things and your mind has been elsewhere and you’ve been busy and doing and doing and doing.

The problem is, we cannot think rationally when our brain is overstimulated, when it’s frazzled, when it’s thinking about a million other things that need doing and worries and concerns. And that’s why we ground, okay?

We ground so we can leave the outside world where it is. So we can calm your nervous system. And the aim is to bring you back to yourself—to the present moment, you know, to the work that we are about to do together.

And whilst we ground, you start to remember—and I will remind you—that you are safe. You know, that where we are right now, it is a safe space. You are supported. And you get to choose exactly how much you want to share—or not share—during the session. You are completely and utterly in control the whole time.

This is something I try and reinforce all the time at the beginning of the session. It’s this reminder of safety, and the purpose of why we’re here doing the work that we’re going to be doing. Because we can’t share our deepest fears and worries and concerns and anxieties and hopes and dreams and all the rest of it if we do not feel safe. So it’s so important that that is exactly how you feel.

And I want you to feel it. I want you to feel the anxiety leaving your body. I want you to feel this calmness washing over you, and to know that again, you will be held throughout the whole session.

Now, after we’ve been through the grounding, I will usually ask you—if it was our first session—I will usually ask you what you want to bring to that session. It could also be a continuation of what we’ve already been working on as well.

But I will ask you what you want to bring to the session, and this is where you either know exactly what you want to say, or you don’t. Okay?

Sometimes you will come into the session and you will know exactly what you want to discuss. You’ll know what’s on your mind and what you need help with. Other times you will not have a fucking clue, okay? You’ll literally feel like there’s no point in even being here. You know? There’s nothing you need help with right now. There’s nothing you’re worried about. There’s just nothing there, so why am I even here?

But either way, what usually happens is that you start talking, okay? And it just comes out. All of it. In no order, without logic, without structure. It’s just this massive explosion of thoughts and worries and ideas and concerns and dreams and hopes and challenges and obstacles.

And literally, the first ten minutes of us being together, they are just you letting it all out.

So even if you thought you had something specific to talk about, you still end up letting everything else tumble out with it. And if you didn’t think you had anything to say… hm, just wait. Okay?

Start talking about what’s been on your mind lately, and eventually it comes. You know? Even if you don’t usually talk very much—it still comes. I can 100% guarantee it.

And throughout the session, what you’ll find is that I may offer insights—but I’m not talking about textbook stuff. I’m talking about being able to give your experiences and your emotions language. You know?

We’re trying to name them. To shape them. To give them meaning. So that… the idea being that not only do you acknowledge what’s happening, but you understand why it’s happening in the first place. Okay?

So for example, you may be experiencing something and you’re talking about it—and I understand where you’re coming from—and I try and give you a name for it. And to explain what is happening when this… you know, when you might do a certain behaviour or when you might think a certain thought and where it comes from.

And it’s just trying to give you a little bit more understanding. And it’s not that I’m any expert in everything—I’m not, by any means—but sometimes what happens is when somebody sees it from the outside, they’re able to reflect back to you what is happening. And because then you have that knowledge—you acknowledge what’s going on—when you go into the outside world, that kind of information, it stays with you.

You start to understand what is going on in certain aspects of your life because you’ve been there. You know? We felt it during the session, and now you understand what’s going on and why.

And so when you take it out of the session, you can also understand what’s happening there. And you can recognise. You can acknowledge. And you can change behaviours—because you’ve already been there and you’ve understood what is happening.

So this is where, again, I might offer you insights along the way. Might give, um, you know—maybe sometimes actually send you some information—so that you can learn more about what is happening.

And as the session goes on, what you will find is that I will observe what your body does when you talk.

So this is why we actually meet on a face-to-face call—so I can see you. I can see when you cover your mouth. I can see when you drop your head. I can see when you hold your breath. I can see when you’ve got your hand placed over your heart as you talk.

And this is where I will ask you to pause. I will ask you—when you’re showing me those responses—I will ask you to pause. I will ask you to drop into your body, and to tune in to its signals, and to feel what you are feeling deeply. Okay?

This is the chance to listen to what your body is actually telling you—because sometimes the body knows what the mind hasn’t caught up with yet. Okay? It knows the things we don’t. It knows the stories, the beliefs, the fears. And we are aiming to gently bring our attention back to that. Okay?

So you can see. So you can feel. So you can hear what your body is desperately trying to tell you.

So the idea being—as we go through the session—we are peeling back the layers. We are uncovering old stories and protective patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you.

And this… this work that we do together—it is deep work. Okay?

It’s tender, and it is powerful, and it is transformative.

And I think the big thing is, though, is that therapeutic coaching is not about fixing. And it’s not about forcing anything. We’re not aiming to push you into any kind of action or telling you who to be or what to do. That’s not what therapeutic coaching is.

This is about creating a space that supports you. That supports you to gain clarity. That supports your healing. That supports any changes that you want to make.

So the idea being that we’re trying to meet you—and I mean the real you—exactly where you are right now. Okay?

So during therapeutic coaching, it is your chance to slow down. It is your chance to go deeper. And it’s your chance to reconnect with everything that really matters to you.

And I’m on about the stuff underneath all of the noise. Underneath all of the outside world. All the things that you think you should be or should do or all of those.

We’re looking for what is underneath that.

And then we get to the end of the session—and you will literally wonder how the hell it’s over already.

You know, we’ve been talking and we’ve been pausing and we’ve been reflecting and we’ve been sitting in all the emotions and the emotional turmoil and the, um, discoveries we’ve made along the way.

And because of this, you might feel a little bit tender and maybe a little bit raw. And you will.

Each time we sit down for therapeutic coaching, you will have peeled back another layer. You will realise that something now makes sense where it didn’t before.

And I’m not just… it’s never just about the thing that you came to talk to me about.

It’s always really funny because you’ve got this idea in your head that you want to talk about a specific thing—and quite often, that’s not actually the thing that matters.

There’s always stuff so much deeper than that. Every time. Every single time.

And we talk about the things that just make you you—that connect to everything else.

So you might come in and want to talk about something that you think is quite trivial, and I can guarantee underneath all that… is so much more.

And each time, it’s like you’ve been handed another part of the jigsaw, you know? And things start to click into place—of why you do things a certain way. Of why you think a certain way. Of what your beliefs are. And your perceptions. And your, maybe, expectations.

And things just start to make more sense.

By the end of the session, you might even feel like you know what the next step is that you want to take.

So you might have come to the session with, you know, something in your mind—you need to make a decision or make a bit of a plan of action. And you might, by the end of the session, know which way you want to go. You know—what’s your next right step.

But this isn’t… It’s important to note that this isn’t traditional coaching. It’s literally not about saying—whereas traditional coaching tends to be “here’s point A, here’s point B, and let’s map out X, Y, and Z to get there”—you know, therapeutic coaching isn’t that.

Instead, therapeutic coaching is about helping you see what’s probably kept you from taking those steps in the first place.

Because chances are—you know the steps to take. You know how to get to something or what you need to do.

But what is stopping you?

And that is what therapeutic coaching tends to figure out along the way.

So, you might leave knowing what to do next—but it’s not because me, as a coach… it’s not because I’ve handed you a checklist or a plan or a programme.

And I have done this in the past—yes, absolutely. That is how I’ve spent most of my career—with programmes and checklists and plans. I would’ve given you a plan. You want to get from A to B? This is how you do it. I will give you the plan.

That is not what I do anymore.

You will know what to do next because your body told you. Because your soul knows. Because this truth that lay inside you—it surfaced as we’ve been talking. As we’ve been sitting with what is going on.

And you listened.

That is the key. That you are starting to listen to what is actually going on.

And that—that is the beauty of this work. That is the beauty of therapeutic coaching.

Because you are the expert in you.

I am simply there to hold up a mirror to what is actually going on.

💌 Learn more about Therapeutic Coaching → https://www.sarahkeatesandrews.com/therapeuticcoaching